monday night.

mayo,

one of the unexpected gifts i've received from this blogbelieve of ours is the reacquaintance with my artist-self. making the leonard & fred drawing at christmas reawakened a part of me i really thought might be permanently asleep.

one of my favorite things to do back when i was with my ex was to sit at the table together all afternoon and just draw. we would work on our own projects, or paint award scrolls for our medieval group, or play drawing games. heck, one of our first dates was to sit side-by-side and color in coloring books!

it was such a satisfying feeling, and an invigorating one too. what he drew inspired me in my work, and what i drew inspired him, and of course, we never lacked for models when we were both sitting there at the table!

after the divorce, though, the projects i was working on just slid away. i didn't have the energy for them. they seemed unimportant, and held no enticement. my artistic self was so entwined with his, i didn't know if it was truly mine anymore.

but it is. it is mine. i'm drawing again, encouraged by everyone here, and the feeling of it is just so right. tonight, i sat here at my computer, ectoplasmic at your place, wandering around the rest of blogbelieve, and drawing.

just, drawing!

this place we have here, it's making me whole again. how is it doing that? is it a little bit like what you're getting out of it, too?

i hope so, because this is a fantastic feeling. i'm becoming me again. and i honestly don't know if that would have happened without this unique experience of ours.

and i still need to say thank you. every night i need to say thank you! i close my eyes and it fills me up, this gratitude for everything that's been happening, here and in the real world, a sweet bubbling spring within me that brims up in a smile curving the corner of my lips. i can't help it. it's too good.

share some of it, won't you, mayo? there's enough.

and so good night to you, and sweet dreams and sweet days.

(oh, and the check-up was fine. i'm all good, persephone aboveground again. *grin*)